Isn't it just sad...

When you lose "friends". As we grow up our personailites change and what was once seen as a strong bond between friends becomes frayed and warped as one adapted quicker or in a different way to another.

I started a little voyage of discovery about 3 months ago now. I decided I was not going to contact the people I felt were taking advantage of me or using me as a scapegoat to cover up their personal issues. I did this and life was great, I mean really great! My head was clearer, my outlook on life became brighter, I wasn't being bogged down by the "he said, she said, they said i heard" mince. My relationship with the Lord improved too, and along with it my relationship with Mark.

See I thought it was all groups of three friends that would encounter problems, but amazingly I have been proven wrong. It seems Kirsty, Lisa and I get on just fine and with no a single problem to be found.. but then again we don't run around carrying stories and playing one off another, there's no reason to cause they're adults, not chidults :)

I have now realised that I shouldn't get myself so upset about the loss of a friend who really never cared enough in the first place to be called a friend. I would rather have no friends than one who made me feel like I was always to blame anyways. Luckily this is not the case and I do have friends.. loyal, fabbi and just down right scatty friends who have shown me what the word "friendship" really means. Sticking by each other through the good AND bad, not just being their when they have something to gain from it. Now I have a little friend from my past back in the equation too :) So meeting her on Wednesday for lunch and a catch up, which I am really looking forward to.

I am learning from this, and will continue to. Friendship means nothing when its not an equal balance. I am saddened by the falling out, I wouldn't be human if I wasn't. However, it truely was the best outcome as who really wants to live their adult life on a childish playground?